Understanding

One thing I learned about life and communication with loved ones is that sometimes it's not about trying to fix a problem, what is right or wrong, what is fair or not fair, what should be done or shouldn't be done... It's about caring about people and understanding their hurt. That is all. #compassion

Refinishing Kitchen Cabinets

DIY Herringbone Brick Pathway

Tools Needed:
- Shovel
- Plate Compactor
- Bricks
- Landscape Fabric
- Gravel Base
- Leveling Sand
- Bonding Sand
- Level
- Rubber Mallet
- 2x4
- Angle Grinder w/dry-cutting blade
- Layout stakes & string (for straight pathways)

Step 1: Layout, Digging, and Compacting

First, layout the area of the pathway,either using steaks & string, or spray painting the dirt.  If there are any sprinklers in the way, they need to be relocated. (Relocating sprinklers will be another blog to be added.)  Dig about 5" down and make sure that the ground is generally level or is sloping away from the house or towards the landscape. I would say this portion is the most labor intensive.  Be sure to wear gloves, because you're bound to have some blisters.

After the 5" is achieved, use a plate compactor to compact the dirt. This step is very important.  You want to make sure you have a solid base, so that when it rains and the dirt settles, the ground won't sink and you won't have bricks sink out of place.  You can use a motorized plate compactor, although we thought we'd save money by just using the manual plate compactor, and it worked fine, just be sure to get all areas. 

Step 2: Gravel Base

Cover the area with gravel base about 1-2" high and compact with the plate compactor.  You want to compact at every layer to ensure a hard base.  Be sure to factor in the thickness of the brick to determine the depth of the opening, gravel and sand layers so that the brick will be level with the surrounding ground height.

Step 3:  Landscape Fabric

Lay down landscape fabric to cover the area of the pathway and up towards the edges.  This keeps weeds from growing in between the pathway.  Use a scissor or fold in the fabric to the needed areas.

Step 4: Leveling Sand

After compacting the gravel base, cover the area with leveling sand, approximately 1-2".  Use a 2x4 to spread the sand out and level the path. Be sure to check the slope of the pathway.  This will be the final layer before placing the bricks.  If it is off level, you can make adjustments, but better to have the foundation set as much as possible. We didn't compact this layer (although the directions do say it) the sand is pretty compacted as you level it,and using a manual plate compactor have caused the sand to just displace.

Step 5:  Setting the Brick

Start setting the brick in the herringbone pattern as shown, or any desired pattern.  When doing a herringbone pattern be mindful of the direction of the corners.  I missed this part, and it ended up going slanted, but we worked with that pattern and just cut the edges straight.  But if you want a 90 degree pattern straight for the door, make sure you place the bricks in that direction by setting stakes and string.

Step 6:  Cutting the brick edges

This was a first time for us.  We first did the manual way, because we didn't have an angle grinder at the time, so we used a brick chisel and a mallet.  (See link if you want to find out how to do this - here).  But we found that an angle grinder was totally necessary.  The manual way was very pre-historic and very rough.  Using an angle grinder with a dry-cutting masonry blade felt like cutting butter. (See link for how to cut brick with angle grinder - here.). Be prepared for a lot of dust. Gloves & a dusk mask is necessary.  I recommend also wearing a hat.  My bf had grey dusty hair by the end of it.

Cutting the edges was probably the most gratifying part.  It really finished up the look and made the path look complete.  I recommend also using a landscape edge to keep the bricks in, although we didn't use it here.

Step 6 1/2 (if needed): Leveling brick in specific areas

 If any bricks are not level adjust the bricks by adding/removing sand and tapping in place with a rubber mallet.  Use a weed puller to pry out the brick, and have rubber gloves to handle it.  This was very time consuming for us because we found that it wasn't level in certain areas, so you want to make sure you have that foundation set as much as possible.

Step 7: Back-fill edges

When all looks good, back fill and compact the edges with dirt.  Be sure that this is tight to the brick so that the bricks stay in place. 

Step 8: Apply Bonding Sand & Rinse

Pour the Quickcrete Bonding Sand over the final brick pattern and use a broom to sweep the sand into all the crevices.  Do not have any excess sand over the brick.  Use a leaf blower or broom to remove any remaining sand over the surface.When all seams are filled, spray with water and let settle. 

Step 9: Reapply

After a day or so the sand may sink a little and you need to re-apply, repeating step 8.

Step 10:  Enjoy your new brick herringbone pathway!

Flakes and Friends

Sometimes you go in "hibernation mode"... Why you ask? Because you have been "flaked on" so many times that you're "snowed-in" and it makes you not want to go out anymore.

Flakes are a reason why I don't trust people's word anymore, they are a reason why I lost my faith in people. Nobody does what they say anymore, and it's sad. People have lost their integrity. I learned not to take what people say seriously anymore... Now I have a "prove me wrong" type of attitude, which is sad. I became cynical... There was a time I became cynical and angry. But through experiences, I have learned... Sometimes you just have to take what you can get. Take all the good you can, because bad things are what you make it.

People can be flaky... when there's a snow storm, you don't want to go out.... but you know what? When the weather is nice, the flakes go away...I like to call these "fair weather friends"... and you know what?.. They're okay, even better than okay. Fair weather friends are still friends, and that's the bottom line. They may flake, make empty promises, and only show up at certain times, but they are still friends that do come out to play. It's better than playing with no one, right?

The trick is... don't get you're hopes up. Every day is not going to be a sunny one. Sometimes the weather shows a promising day full of sun shine, and instead you get rain. The weather is fickle; just like people... It sounds really grim to say, but it's true. Then somewhere along your journey, you come across people that keep their promises and even show up in the rain. Those people don't come across very often; just like rainbows ;) They are a special treat when it rains, and show that despite the rain, some sun can shine through and show a little color... Good friends are like that. When you're not at your best or are feeling kind of down, they have ways to be there for you and brighten your day. You can count on them and just like fair weather friends, they may not always be there, but they make you feel good to go out. Bottom line: Friends are friends.. appreciate all of them and just know which ones you can count on.

Btw, disclaimer: Flakes are not people that can't make it... Flakes are the ones who give empty promises and say they will, but don't show up, or fall out last minute. To avoid being flaky, give the truth, if you can't make it, you can't make it. Or if you have a feeling you're not going to make it, give a heads up. Don't get people's hopes up, then not follow through.. Common courtesy. In other words, "don't blow smoke up people's ass". Be genuine, honest, and real. Have some integrity. People will appreciate you for it.

Me and my little analogies: Dating...

Dating is like digging for gold...

Sometimes you dig, and you find a little gold nugget, you pick it up and enjoy it. And you dig the same spot again and get another golden nugget. And every time you dig you find another little nugget. You keep on finding a nugget every time you dig. Eventually, in the back of your mind, you hope that it's going to lead to the big piece of gold/treasure so you dig more and more. But sometimes the treasure is never there and all you get are these golden nuggets. And sometimes you dig so much that you just end up in a ditch that you have to get out of.

Sometimes there are signs saying "Dig Here" or "There's gold here", and sometimes other people are telling you, "Dig here, there's treasure here". So you dig... and sometimes you get a few nuggets here and there, but there really is nothing there. And the gold ends up being in someone else's shovel. And sometimes the person telling you where to dig, keeps telling you there's gold there, but the gold ends up being in their shovel. It can get frustrating.

Sometimes you dig deep holes because either you always find gold every time you dig, and eventually start looking for the treasure or sometimes you just dig and dig and dig hoping there's treasure right from the start. But you have to be careful not to dig so much where you just end up digging yourself a ditch that you cannot to get out of.

And sometimes you dig shallow holes, but wide. And you get several nuggets, but don't really get far. But the good thing about that is that you find an easy way out, since you don't create a big ditch for yourself.

Sometimes little pieces of gold end up in your shovel, but your digging for something else.

And sometimes there's a rock that presents itself to you... but everyone tells you, "There's gold in that rock." And your thinking, "Yeah, right. All I see is a rock." but you give it a try and figure there might be gold in that rock... but there's a special way to get the gold out. You can't really dig... you gotta chip away at the surface to reveal the gold inside. But it's hard, you have to have a lot of patience and be willing to get the gold in that manner if you enjoy that way of revealing the gold, or want that gold so much that you are willing to do it, because you feel it's more special than the rest. But sometimes, you just don't want to find that gold and in that particular way. It's just frustrating and takes too long, that you would rather dig where you want.

Then a question comes to mind... "Why are you even digging? You shouldn't be the one that's digging.".. or "Stop digging, sometimes you'll find gold when you least expect it."

My answer to that is... You're in a field of gold. You see other people with gold that makes them happy, and you want some gold too. You would be wasting your time in a field of gold just standing around thinking that it's just going to come to you. You might as well dig. At least you're looking, compared to wallowing around a gold field complaining that you don't have any gold.

Some people might say, "Who needs gold, you don't need gold to make you happy." But you see other people with their gold, and you already had some little nuggets of gold that already made you happy for the time being, that you know that is what you want. Plus, you need gold to make a charm bracelet ;) And you don't want to go around using your little different pieces of gold to put together a charm bracelet. It's more valuable to make a charm bracelet from that main piece of gold that your happy with... that special big piece of gold that makes you want to stop digging and stake your claim.

So my little conclusion, and my little method that I use is.... Enjoy the little pieces of gold that you find along the way. Big pieces, small pieces, rocks, pebbles, what-have-you. Sometimes you feel like digging, sometimes you don't. It's just an instinct that you feel and you want to keep digging. Sometimes you get a good spot that always shows gold, but it leads to nothing. But you dig in a way where you don't anticipate finding treasure (it might be in the back of your mind) but you dig carefully where you know you can get out. And maybe one day you'll find the gold that you want to keep for yourself and stop digging.

Some people are desperate for gold that they dig haphazardly and dig so deep that they end up getting hurt and stuck in a ditch... you don't want to do that. And sometimes people just dig for gold that's at the edge of a cliff. It may be a nice piece of gold, but you might just fall off that cliff.

And if two people are digging for the same piece of gold, I usually just let them have it. It's not worth causing a commotion when you can always dig somewhere else. And no one wants to see girls fight over gold, because it can and will get a little dirty. And for the fellas, usually the stronger more ambitious ones that REALLY want it, end up getting it. Depends on how much fight they put up.

Sometimes you get people that follow wherever you dig, which can get annoying... so, you either distract them with some other gold or just keep the digging to yourself.

Sometimes people have really big shovels where they get gold easy. And some people have some kind of magnetic shovels that just attract gold. Some don't even have to dig or feel that they shouldn't have to dig. And some people don't want to dig. And some people just walk around and are lucky to find gold without even looking.

Some people are skillful diggers, while others need a lot more practice. And you can have a really fancy shovel and not know how to dig. Or vice-versa, you can have a crappy shovel, but be an expert digger. It all depends.

And for those that don't know how to dig, they have little fenced-off areas where you are guaranteed gold, and they give you tips and tricks on how to dig. But the catch is that the gold you find may not be as valuable as the ones you find naturally, because they may be pre-selected or leftovers, you never know.

I could go on and on (if i haven't already ;P)... but I'll stop here. I had fun with this one.

Bottom line is: have fun, enjoy the pieces of gold that you find along the way.

When digging, you never know where you want to keep digging or stake your claim... you just gotta feel it. But don't stake your claim too fast because often, the best treasure is found in the deep spots, you just have to keep digging. It's a tricky field out there... Dig carefully ;)

Some last tips/one-liners:
-Watch out for fools-gold.
-Don't go diggin for someone else's gold.
-One man's trash, is another man's treasure/gold.
-Don't catch gold fever, or you may just catch something else ;P

Little Victories

Sometimes, it's just about the little victories. Don't let anyone take that away from you. Appreciate what you can.... No matter how big or how small. Sometimes it's the little things that count.

Prioritize

Nobody likes to feel forgotten..Despite our busy schedules, take the time to remember the people we care about and make them feel like a priority, no matter how small or infrequent the gesture. It may just make their day ;)